


First Order Hotline

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Leia), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirty Talk, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Phone Sex, Sex Toys, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, phone sex operator, sex hotline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-05 04:41:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11006190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: Hux works at First Order Hotline, a call centre providing quality service for clients seeking sexual release. While it is no easy feat to do so verbally, Hux specializes in dominant/submissive fantasies. The job can be amusing and the pay cheques are wonderful, and thankfully he’s never had a problem with a client. That is until a repeat caller named Kylo Ren starts to take over his world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: My plan is to post one chapter weekly :)

“ _Welcome to the First Order Hotline where all of your fantasies can come true. Please have your credit card information available for the next live agent. Once registered, you will be able to select which of our various departments you would like to explore. These include: bondage, dominant/submissive, student/teacher, master/slave, priests, sugar daddies and mommas, doctor/patient, historical, forbidden affairs…”_

 

Kylo felt his eyebrows rising towards his hairline as the sultry recorded message continued to play and list the surprisingly large variety of fantasies available for clients. He fidgeted with the cool plastic of his credit card in his hand and wondered what the hell he thought he was doing. But before he could reconsider and hang up the phone he heard a click of the phone connecting.

 

“Thank you for calling the First Order Hotline where we want to make all of your fantasies come true.” The woman speaking was different than the one from the recorded message but she had also mastered a sexy lilt for her speaking voice. “Please note that once your credit card information is collected and you are redirected, you will be charged by the minute. Do you understand?”

 

“Y-yes,” Kylo answered, having to clear his throat quickly.

 

“Excellent. And may I confirm your age?” Kylo felt his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Not that he was underage, but just being asked this reminded him that he was doing something _adult_ and not necessarily appropriate. “I assure you this is only for legal reasons.”

 

“I’m uh, thirty,” Kylo said and winced, hoping they would believe him despite the nerves audible in the tremble of his voice. He cleared his throat again.

 

“Thank you, and can I have your credit card information now?”

 

Kylo could hear the pleasant smile the operator woman held to her lips. He remembered his own training for a tech call centre in the past and how they repeated over and over ‘ _smile when talking; it’s audible_ ’ and then stuck a tiny mirror to the side of everyone’s computer monitor. He provided his credit card information quickly and then set the card down on his living room coffee table. Kylo reminded himself to relax and tried to lie back more naturally on his couch.

 

“Alright, everything seems to be in order,” the woman confirmed after a few moments of silence. “All that’s left is for me to determine where to direct your call. Did you get a chance to listen to the list of departments while you waited? I would be happy to repeat them—”

 

“That won’t be necessary, thanks,” Kylo spoke quickly, his sense of awkwardness mounting. Really, what had he been thinking? Was this even going to work with how nervous he was? Was he so desperate that he would try anyway? “Um, the dominant/submissive one,” he tried to say calmly, as though they were discussing the weather.

 

“And would you prefer a male or female agent, sir?” The woman, at least, was able to keep a blasé tone.

 

“Male, please.” At least that was an easy question to answer.

 

“One moment,” she was still smiling, though it sounded more like a smirk now as the phone clicked and Kylo was returned to the recorded messages. Was she laughing at him? Did she think he was pathetic? Because maybe he was. Maybe this had been the stupidest idea Kylo had ever come up with in his desperate brain and he should just hang up right—

 

“Thank you for keeping me company this evening.” Dammit. Did every agent at this place get a voice coach or something? This man sounded just as sultry as the recorded and live women Kylo had already heard, except he also had an accent – Irish, maybe? Though perhaps slightly worn down from time living in America. “What will I be calling you?”

 

“Kylo,” he offered immediately and then ran his fingers through his hair. “But actually I think this might’ve been a bit of a mistake. No offence or anything.”

 

“And what makes you think that, Kylo?”

 

Ugh, there was something about that voice and the way it shaped around his chosen name that made Kylo unable to hang up. Not yet. “Well…” he began and then trailed off. What was he going to say, that he had cold feet?

 

“Is this your first time calling in?” the man guessed correctly. Perhaps he took Kylo’s silence as an admittance, which it was. “There’s no reason to be nervous.” Kylo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The voice in his ear was so warm and soothing that he could almost imagine this person sitting beside him on the couch, reassuring him. “Our calls are confidential and I’m not in the business of judging. I just want to make you feel good. Will you let me do that, Kylo?”

 

Kylo swallowed thickly. “Yeah.”

 

“I’m glad.” There was a smile interlaced with that Irish accent but it sounded genuine, not pleasantly forced like the woman earlier. “So tell me why you chose the dom/sub department. Have you experimented with this before?”

 

“Not exactly…” Kylo switched the phone from one hand to the other and then back, taking turns wiping the sweat from his palms onto his track pants. “I’ve never—I mean, I haven’t with a real person but sometimes when I watch porn it’s—not that it’s _all_ I watch but—”

 

“Kylo.”

 

The voice was still warm, still gentle, but there was an edge to it that demanded attention and Kylo stopped his rambling immediately. “Yes?”

 

“Close your eyes.” Kylo closed them, even though the cynical side of his brain pointed out that there would be no way for the agent to know if Kylo had complied. “Good, now take a deep breath in and out.” Instead of asking the man if he somehow knew Kylo had obeyed or if he was just guessing, Kylo again followed the order. His inhales were shaky but the agent didn’t comment. After four repetitions Kylo felt calmer. “Relax, you’re fine,” the voice in his ear promised.

 

Kylo opened his eyes and almost felt disoriented when he saw and remembered that he was in his living room alone. “Can I know your name?”

 

There was a brief pause and then the man answered, “You can call me Hux.”

 

“Hux,” he tested the weight of the name on his tongue and startled at the man’s low chuckle. “What?”

 

“It’s my job to seduce _you_ , not the other way around,” Hux informed him lightly, though it didn’t sound like he was bothered.

 

“I wasn’t trying to—you think I sound seductive?” Kylo asked quickly.

 

“Kylo, with how you sound I would’ve had you on your knees in front of me already if I was there,” Hux purred and Kylo’s face – as well as other body parts – flushed with heat. “Tell me: are you somewhere comfortable and private?”

 

Kylo lived alone so that wasn’t a problem. “Yes,” he confirmed, not even bothering trying to clear the huskiness from his voice.

 

“Are you sitting or lying down?”

 

“Sitting on a couch.”

 

“And are you going to do everything I tell you to do?”

 

Despite the second of hesitation, Kylo nodded and then agreed verbally. “Yes.”

 

“Good.” Kylo loved how pleased Hux sounded when he said that word. “Kylo, I want you to raise your free hand and brush your fingers along your collar bones below your shirt.”

 

Kylo was surprised. “Not my—?”

 

“Be a good boy and we may get there,” Hux promised and Kylo shivered, though maybe that was partially thanks to the light caress of his fingertips against his own skin. He felt overheated, even to his own touch. “Now I want you to keep your eyes closed and imagine me in front of you straddling your lap.”

 

“What do you look like?”

 

There was another momentary pause like when he had asked for Hux’s name. Were these not questions he should ask? “I look like whatever you want me to look like. All that matters is your imagination and my voice.”

 

“Yeah but…” Kylo faltered, his caressing fingers coming to a standstill. “Is that a policy or something?”

 

Hux’s voice turned from sexy to business-like and Kylo cursed himself for ruining whatever fantasy Hux had been trying to weave for him. “We don’t typically divulge that information in case our appearance isn’t to the taste of the client. I wouldn’t want to spoil your fun simply because I’m not your type.”

 

Kylo barely held himself back from declaring that whatever Hux looked like was his type. “I’d really like to know, if that’s okay. It’ll help with my fantasy.” He bit his lip, reminding himself what department he had called. “Hux, _please_.”

 

Hux’s next intake of breath was slightly louder than normal. His voice didn’t waver, though it returned to his warmer tone. “Describe yourself first.”

 

Kylo suddenly got a fluttering of nerves, now worried in return that he wouldn’t be Hux’s type. Not that – Kylo shook his head. It didn’t _matter_ if he was Hux’s type; Kylo was the one paying by the minute for this call. “I’m six foot two inches tall, muscular because I go to the gym a lot. I have a rat’s nest of long black hair that I usually tie up, and people say my nose and ears and lips are too big.”

 

He could hear the hand over Hux’s mouth stifling a chuckle. “Well since you’re being so candid I’ll do the same. I’m just over six feet tall and slim from the running I do. I have red hair that falls in my eyes if I don’t gel it back and I have more freckles than I’d care for on my shoulders and back.”

 

Kylo found that he could imagine Hux easily, and the mental image made him eager to return to the fantasy he had momentarily derailed them from. He envisioned Hux’s thin fingers brushing his skin while Kylo held the smaller man in his lap by the waist. “Hux can we—go back?”

 

Thankfully Hux seemed to understand. “I’m straddling you on your couch as I brush my fingers along your collarbones and up your neck. I feel the heat of you beneath me, my legs spread wide to sit on your thighs.” Kylo didn’t need to be instructed on what he had to do. He returned his fingers to the skin of his neck for a caress and then gripped the muscle of one thigh, wishing he was feeling the strain of supporting Hux’s weight. “When I feel how muscular you are I run my hands down your arms to feel the shape of your biceps and then slip my hands under your shirt to touch your chest.”

 

Kylo continued to mimic the movements Hux described, feeling a thrill when his hand snuck under his own shirt. Who knew he could get so turned on just at the idea of his hand being replaced by a stranger’s – no, Hux’s. He hadn't been sure if this whole hotline thing would even work for him, but judging by the growing tightness of the fabric of his pants, that wouldn’t be a problem.

 

“Tell me what you want,” Hux whispered in his ear.

 

“You,” Kylo answered without thinking about it. “You touching me.”

 

“I am touching you,” Hux sounded both pleased and teasing.

 

“Touching my dick,” Kylo amended.

 

“I move my hands across your pecs, my palms teasing your nipples on each pass.” Kylo knew Hux had heard him, but it seemed clear Hux was content to ignore the request for now. Although Kylo could feel a building need in his gut, Hux’s voice was too lovely to disobey. So he brushed his hand over his own chest, weathering his bottom lip against his teeth each time his hand brushed a nipple and caused it to peak with sensitivity.

 

“Just like that, yes,” Hux murmured. Only then did Kylo realize his breathing had turned a little louder; loud enough to be obvious, at least. “And then my hands trail down to your abdomen until they bump the waistband of your pants. Strip for me. Everything off.”

 

“How did you—?”

 

“I assumed. Don’t keep me waiting.”

 

That commanding edge was back in Hux’s voice, though he remained warm. While Kylo struggled out of his shirt and then lifted his hips to push down his pants and underwear, he wondered idly if this was how Hux sounded talking to everyone or if Kylo was getting a gentler version since it was his first time. Kylo didn’t mind; his nervousness was all but forgotten.

 

“Done,” he rushed to proclaim, eager to please.

 

“Are you hard yet?” Hux asked, curious but not demanding.

 

Kylo couldn’t help but laugh when he looked down at his swollen erection which was already curled up against his stomach and pulsing with his heartbeat. “Definitely.”

 

“Good,” Hux was smiling again. “Now, are you still going to do everything I tell you to do?”

 

“Absolutely.” Kylo already felt better than he had in weeks – _months_. He wasn’t opposed to continuing to follow Hux’s orders when this was the result.

 

“Run your hand down your stomach and then down one thigh to your knee,” Hux told him. He was definitely being gentle with Kylo but the dominant side of him was undeniable and Kylo found himself wanting to submit to it. Kylo did as he was told. “Brush your hand back up along your inner thigh but do _not_ touch yourself.” Kylo bit his bottom lip to stifle his whine of frustration and focused on the tremble of his thigh at the touch of his hand. “Now the other leg, down to your knee and back up your inner thigh only.”

 

Kylo’s fingers came so close to touching his balls that his hips arched upward, begging his hand for something it wouldn’t give. “Hux…”

 

Hux ignored the plea in his tone. “And back down the other leg, caressing your inner thigh down and back up this time.” Kylo held his breath, waiting for a new order. “…And back down the other leg again.”

 

“Hux, please!”

 

By now Kylo was dribbling precome onto his abdomen, which was surprising itself considering he hadn’t even touched himself yet and he was already so turned on. “Please what?”

 

“Please let me touch myself.” His need for release overrode his sense of self-consciousness at begging. The cynical voice in his head returned and reminded Kylo that he could touch himself anytime he wanted. Kylo banished the thought. Somehow he was certain that it was going to feel infinitely better touching himself when Hux told him to, and not before.

 

“Brush your hand up your thigh and torso until you’re back at your neck.” Kylo growled. “ _Kylo_.”

 

He suspected this was a test. And though it was driving him insane, Kylo did as he was told. “I am,” he said, aware that he sounded slightly broken. “I did.”

 

“Now I want you to suck on as many fingers as you can fit in your mouth. As you do, imagine me standing above you now.” Whether it was intentional or not, Hux’s voice sounded a bit more breathy than normal. “I run my thumb along your bottom lip, prying you open slowly, and then feed my cock into your mouth.” Kylo mimicked Hux’s thumb and then pushed four fingers into his mouth, spreading his lips wide. “You look so good with my cock spreading your lips.”

 

Kylo whimpered around his mouthful.

 

“I slip my hands into your hair—” Kylo fumbled to get his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder, fingers still in his mouth and other hand scrabbling for his hair “—and pull.”

 

Kylo wasn’t sure there was a name for the sound he made into the phone. What Kylo did know is if he wasn’t careful, he was going to spill without even touching himself. He wanted to say Hux's name but refused to remove the fingers from his mouth without permission so he merely moaned for Hux instead. Kylo liked to imagine Hux looking down at him, a pleased smile on his lips as arousal flushed his cheeks.

 

"Are you getting close?" Hux breathed.

 

"Mhm," was all Kylo managed in reply.

 

"I'm going to give you what you want if you beg prettily enough for me," Hux told him. "Do you want to come, Kylo?"

 

"Fuck, Hux, _please_ ," Kylo removed his fingers to groan. He was almost grateful that they were doing this over the phone; he wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself if Hux was here with him on the couch. "Please let me come."

 

"Put your fingers back in your mouth," Hux ordered and Kylo immediately obeyed. "Good boy. Now you're going to stroke yourself slow and tight. Use the hand in your hair. I want you to come with my cock in your mouth."

 

Kylo didn't care that his body was contorted in an odd position to keep his phone between his ear and shoulder. He didn't care that he was all alone in his apartment turned on to the point of coming by nothing more than a voice in his ear. All Kylo cared about was the feeling of his hand fisting his dripping cock and the imaginary weight and girth of Hux's cock on his tongue. Kylo arched at the first touch of his hand to his erection, surprised at how sensitized he was. He moaned weakly and started to stroke himself the way he did when he was desperate.

 

"You have my permission to jerk yourself off however you need to," Hux said quietly. "I want to hear you fall apart for me."

 

It didn't take long. It was over almost embarrassingly quick. Kylo pulled at his length tightly, occasionally twisting his palm to tease the head on his upstrokes. He kept his eyes closed and slid the fingers of his other hand in and out of his mouth, saliva coating his lips as he imagined Hux taking his own pleasure from Kylo's body. All at once Kylo's body tensed up and he groaned weakly around his mouthful as his hips bucked and he came across his own stomach and fingers.

 

When he was spent he removed his fingers from his mouth and grabbed his briefs from the floor, using them to wipe his hands and then stomach clean. "Holy shit," he muttered to himself and the phone at the same time, struggling to catch his breath.

 

"Good?" Hux prodded, though his self-satisfied smirk was already evident in his voice.

 

"Holy shit," Kylo said again. Hux laughed and Kylo did too. "I'll be honest, I wasn't sure this was going to work but you definitely proved me wrong."

 

"Happy to be of service," Hux was still smirking. "Your jaw may feel a bit sore for a few hours."

 

"Don't care." Kylo chucked his soiled underwear away and slumped deeper into the cushions. "Wow."

 

"Well I don't want you to get charged for your recovery period so we should probably end the call," Hux began to say. "Thank you for calling First Order—"

 

"Hux, wait!" Kylo rushed to speak before Hux disconnected the call. The call didn't end, but Hux didn't say anything either and suddenly Kylo felt all the self-consciousness he had ignored during the entire call. "Um, if I wanted to call you again, could I?"

 

A moment of silence reigned and Kylo could tell Hux was deliberating. His heartbeat was racing in his ears and Kylo wasn't even sure he could blame it on his orgasm. At last Hux spoke. "I don't see why not, if I'm working and available. I'm the only 'Hux' in the department so you can ask for me."

 

Hux sounded a bit nervous, but Kylo was just relieved. "Thank you, Hux. For, you know... everything."

 

Hux gave a half-sigh, half-chuckle. "Goodnight, Kylo." And then the call ended.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much for all of the amazing feedback so far! I was blown away and so happy that you're all enjoying the story so much ^.^ I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much ;-)

Hux had just finished eating dinner and washing the plate, fork and glass to set in the drainer to dry. His work bag was already packed and all he had to do was feed Millicent before driving to work. He was smart enough not to skip one of his cat's meals; last time he had forgotten, Hux had found the back of one dining room chair clawed to death. "Be good," he begged his cat before locking the door and slipping into his car.

 

It was just after six in the evening and Hux would be slightly early as he always was for his shift beginning at 7pm. 7pm to 3am was the busiest time for business so Hux was pretty much always on this schedule. It had been a little difficult getting used to sleeping at 4am and waking up at noon every day, but he had learned to use the afternoons for his errands and use any lulls at work to read his books or write short stories.

 

Hux had never envisioned himself as a thirty four year old working as a sex hotline agent but the money was fantastic and gave him the flexibility and security to pursue writing in his free time. Besides, a lot of the clients ended up being interesting or amusing or both, which was great inspiration for his stories. There were definitely some cringe-worthy callers as well, but he figured that was the risk of any customer service job and he would make do.

 

As Hux parked his car and started to walk towards his work building he saw Mitaka, another agent who worked in the 'priests' department. Mitaka saw him and waved, waiting for Hux to catch up so they could walk in together. Hux wasn't an incredibly social person by nature but he found Mitaka alright to talk to most days. Besides, Hux's best friend Phasma informed him that he needed more friends in his life than just her.

  
"Get any interesting calls lately?" Hux asked, which was practically the "how are you?" of employees at First Order Hotline. They would never give personal information about the callers but they could still reminisce about the good calls and laugh about the bad ones.

 

Mitaka heaved a sigh and shook his head. "A lady called me two days ago insisting that the devil was trying to steal her soul and if I didn't fuck her right then she would get kidnapped and taken to hell. Then halfway through she suggested a three-way with the devil. I was considering suggesting she see an actual priest." They both chuckled as they walked down the hallways. "How about you?"

 

"Nothing crazy," Hux stated. "But memorable, yes."

 

"Oh?"

 

"I got a first-time caller a week ago," Hux said. His head was already getting hazy as the memory of Kylo's call engulfed him. Hux would never do something as debased as jerk off in his room at work, even though they each got an individual room with no windows to avoid the noise of other nearby conversations or sounds interrupting a client's fantasy. But that hadn't stopped Hux from coming into his hand mere minutes after he had crawled into bed that night, and the night afterwards. "Let's just say he was very good at taking orders."

 

"Think he'll call again?" Mitaka gave him a knowing smile. It wasn't against the rules for agents to enjoy the fantasies as well, as long as they remained professional and didn't give out any personal information.

 

Hux hoped so, but he didn't want to vocalize that hope only to have it dashed. "Who knows? It's been a week. Anyway, this is me," they had reached the door to his work room.

 

"See you at lunch?"

 

It still felt bizarre calling their meal break at 11pm 'lunch' despite Hux doing this job for over a year. "Actually I think I'm going to do some writing tonight."

 

"Alright, goodnight." Mitaka waved and continued down the hall and around the corner to where his own work room was.

 

Hux entered his room and closed the door, setting his bag on his side desk. He pulled out his book and notepad which he left by the bag and then grabbed his thermos of water to set beside his computer and headset on the main desk. Hux had another ten minutes before he had to be logged in so he visited the washroom and then read a few pages of his book before focusing on his computer.

 

He got assigned a call almost as soon as he logged on which lasted nearly two hours. The man got turned on being ordered to clean so Hux took his time sending the man on a cleaning spree around his apartment. In between chores Hux would reward him with small demands for the client to strip off a piece of clothing or to touch himself. By the time they were on to dishes and sweeping the floors Hux gave up and opened his book in his lap, reading between his offers of praise and new orders. At last he told the man to stroke himself off with the rubber gloves from the dishes which was enough for the client to find his release. After the client thanked him Hux gently encouraged him to consider the master/slave department in future and then disconnected the call.

 

A lull of twenty minutes passed before his phone rang again. Hux used the time to rest his voice and sip some water while continuing his book, already counting down the minutes until he could clock out and go home to sleep. The next caller was a woman who struggled between being turned on by Hux ordering her around and taking offense at the same time. With a blend of gentle demands and reassurances, Hux helped her find her release and sent her on her way.

 

He was close enough to 11pm by the end of the call that he switched his account to 'break' and ate at his desk. Hux wrote a few sentences of a half-formed story idea in his notebook until his alarm went off reminding him to set his account back to 'available' within five minutes. He visited the washroom and signed back on promptly, hoping that the last three hours of his shift flew by.

 

Hux got a notification a few minutes later of a new incoming call and he connected himself to the client. "Thank you for keeping me company this evening."

 

"Oh, I guess that's something you say to everyone, huh?" Hux's eyes widened, his heart adopting an annoying patter in his chest. He knew that voice; had replayed it over and over in his head when he got home and safely into bed. And yet it would be disastrous to state a name and be wrong. "Are you there?"

 

Hux chided himself for his momentarily lapse and cleared his throat. "Kylo?"

 

"You remember me?" Kylo sounded both surprised and pleased, and Hux smiled.

 

"I do."

 

"Well that's, um, good. I just figured—with you being so good at what you do and all the calls you get—I mean I can't imagine how many people you must talk to and—"

 

"Kylo."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Close your eyes," Hux ordered, and closed his own. "Deep breaths." When Hux closed his eyes his sense of hearing heightened, making it easy for him to pick up on the slow in-out of breaths confirming that Kylo was doing as he was told. Hux was still smiling, which was weird but not exactly unpleasant. After thirty seconds Hux opened his eyes again. "Better?"

 

"Yeah, sorry," Kylo chuckled.

 

"Don't be. I'm glad you called," Hux said. "It's been a week."

 

He heard Kylo shifting his weight on what Hux assumed was a couch. "I didn't want to seem overly eager and besides, I didn't know when to call except to try again at the same time the following week."

 

"Understandable. Well I always work Friday nights," he confessed. Friday evenings and the weekends were always the busiest times for the hotline. "Before we begin I wanted to ask you something; is that alright?"

 

Hux always tried to use a different tone of voice and speak differently when he was acting as an agent versus goading a client's fantasy and pleasure. While Hux provided a dominant role for submissive individuals for sexual pleasure, he was still providing customer service and had to act respectfully. That was why he never pushed or persuaded when discussing business with a client.

 

"Yes," Kylo agreed, though he sounded apprehensive.

 

"Are you at home?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"And do you have any toys we might be able to make use of?"

 

Kylo's hard swallow was audible. "I don't."

 

"That's alright," Hux hid his flash of disappointment. It would've been fun, but it wasn't necessary. He told Kylo the same. "I assume you have lube, at least?"

 

"I do, yes." Kylo still sounded nervous or even a bit uncomfortable. Hux decided to get them into a fantasy as quickly as possible, remembering from their last call that Kylo became more relaxed once he got caught up in his imagination.

 

"Tell me, Kylo," Hux switched voices to a breathier variety. "Is there anything in particular you want tonight?"

 

"You," Kylo rushed his answer. Then he amended himself, perhaps remembering which department he had called. "Whatever you'll give me, Hux."

 

"You're going to go to your bed, grab your lube, and lie down," Hux stated firmly. Kylo was still new to this and Hux would be gentle, but unleashing this voice and hearing Kylo react to it and bow to every command was a heady experience. Of course Hux enjoyed the dominant role in general; he wouldn't be able to fulfill this role otherwise. However, there was something unique about doing this with Kylo. Perhaps it was the idea of not only commanding but teaching – being _trusted_ to lead a blind man to his salvation.

 

He listened to the patter of bare feet on wooden floors and grabbed a sip of water while he waited for the telltale sounds of a body resting on rustling sheets. "I'm lying down," Kylo confirmed after a minute of adjusting and settling.

 

Hux closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself there with Kylo. He didn't have a specific plan of how he wanted this to go; he would just feel it out as they went. "I'm standing at the foot of your bed watching you. Without getting up I want you to strip for me, but do it slowly. Give me a show worthy of my time."

 

“Okay, I’m going to start by pulling my shirt over my head and off so you can see my chest as I run my hands along my skin…”

 

Kylo’s speaking was slightly halted as he awkwardly described what he was doing while trying to make it sexy. It wasn’t something clients usually did since they were the ones paying; they didn’t think about the agent’s pleasure since the agent would perform regardless. But Kylo’s attempts were sweet if slightly amusing, and Hux wouldn’t let himself laugh and ruin whatever confidence Kylo had found.

 

Instead he schooled his face from his grin to a more acceptable smile and spoke in return. “I move closer to the edge of the bed, my eyes tracking the movement of your hands as they spread over your chest, up to your neck and then back down to tease your own waist. You grip your hips tight, wishing it was my hands instead.”

 

The slight hitch of Kylo’s breath was all Hux needed to know Kylo was following his directions to a tee.

 

“I uh, I keep my eyes on you as I slowly pull my pants and underwear down—”

 

“Keep the underwear,” Hux ordered. “Lose the pants.”

 

“Why?” Kylo grumbled.

 

“Because I said so,” Hux’s voice sharpened.

 

He heard more shuffling as Kylo supposedly hiked his underwear back up and then pulled his pants off the rest of the way. “M’ sorry,” Kylo mumbled a moment later.

 

“Don’t be,” Hux insisted, making his tone as gentle as a warm hand cupping Kylo’s face. Hux had an epiphany that the dom/sub dynamic – at least a more enforced, demanding version of it – may not be Kylo’s thing. While it was clear that Kylo enjoyed Hux leading and describing their fantasy, he struggled to differentiate between Hux’s orders and a scolding, which was clearly something Kylo did _not_ enjoy. It was hard to provide proper aftercare over the phone and the people who usually called in didn’t mind, but Hux didn’t want to upset his client. “Kylo, are you sure the dom/sub department is what you’re happy with? It’s alright if you want to explore other options.”

 

“Are you getting rid of me?” Kylo asked quickly, sounding strained.

 

“No, of course not,” Hux promised. Truthfully the thought of Kylo hanging up and never calling back caused an uncomfortable clench in Hux’s stomach. “I just want you to feel good. It’s very common for someone to call one department only to realize something else would suit them better.”

 

“I don’t know exactly what I’m into, but I do know I don’t want to talk to anyone else,” Kylo stated firmly.

 

Hux pushed down the warmth he felt in his chest, forcing himself back to a professional mindset. After all, they were on Kylo’s dime and Hux didn’t want to be wasteful. “Then let’s discuss some boundaries. I use a firmer tone since that’s what a lot of people who call me like, but I can sense it doesn’t do anything for you. Am I correct?” Kylo seemed sensitive to scolding and had a fear of disappointing. Issues with the parents, perhaps, though Kylo wasn’t paying him to be a therapist so Hux wouldn’t ask.

 

“I suppose not.” Hux heard the sheets rustling again as Kylo shifted. Any arousal Hux had managed to spark had no doubt fizzled by now. “I liked it – _a lot_ – when you told me what to do last time, but just now you sounded angry. I don’t want to do anything wrong; does that make sense?”

 

“It does,” Hux confirmed. “It’s common for subs to want to please their doms, and to follow orders correctly. That’s part of it. Yet some people are more… ah, abrasive?” he tested out the word. “They like being difficult so that their dom has to put them in their place and enforce command. I was never angry. But if that’s not for you then I won’t do it.”

 

Kylo released a heavy exhale. “Okay, that sounds good.”

 

“Is there anything else you want me to avoid?” Hux prompted after a moment of silence. He was very familiar with these discussions, although he felt rusty having one over the phone. The last time he had had a discussion like this was the last time he got into a serious relationship, which was barely even a memory anymore.

 

“Insults,” Kylo suggested. “Definitely not a turn on.”

 

Hux had already picked up on Kylo’s enjoyment of praise but he didn’t bother saying this aloud. “Understood. I think we can work with that,” he smiled and then wavered, “if you’re still interested, that is.”

 

“I am,” Kylo took a deep breath. “Tell me what to do, Hux.”

 

It didn’t escape Hux’s notice that even while begging Kylo was also _telling_ , ordering likely without even noticing that he was doing it. Hux wasn’t so inflexible that he had to be wholly dominant alone, though it wasn’t common for him to bend. There was something about Kylo that made him more willing to let these little moments slide though. He recognized that even if he had taken on the dominant role and Kylo was mostly submissive, Kylo had an unquestionable sway over Hux whether Kylo realized it or not.

 

“Your hands are going to brush along your abdomen and thighs, tracing the outline of your underwear,” Hux told him. “Your fingertips will slip beneath the fabric but go no further, teasing only.” He gave Kylo a minute to himself with nothing to do except follow the orders to rile himself up. “Now you’re going to rub the heel of your palm against your cock but through the underwear.”

 

“You are such a tease,” Kylo accused and Hux smiled into his hand.

 

Hux felt overheated in his small room and fanned his face for a moment. “You’ll thank me later when you’re screaming my name.” Kylo hissed and then groaned and Hux could imagine the man’s body shifting and arching as the friction caused a new erection to stir. “You aren’t allowed to finish until I’m done with you so if you start getting close you must stop; understand?”

 

“Yes.” The answer came through gritted teeth.

 

“Start stroking your open palm up and down your length. Imagine it’s me after I’ve gotten onto the bed and straddled your lap, rubbing my own erection against yours through our underwear.”

 

“You’re hard?” Kylo asked.

 

To Hux’s surprise, when he looked down he _was_ hard; or at least at half-mast and beyond in his pants. He had been so focused on building the fantasy that he hadn’t noticed the way his hips were shifting slightly in his chair. It wasn’t unheard of for him to get aroused by a good call but it was rare, and rarer still for him to feel that incessant _need_ for release. Hux could’ve lied, but he figured Kylo would enjoy knowing, even if it left Hux feeling slightly embarrassed himself. “Getting there,” he chuckled shyly.

 

“Really?” Kylo said breathlessly. “Can you touch yourself? Or are you in a cubicle?”

 

“I’m in a private room but I—Kylo, this is about _you_ ,” Hux reminded him.

 

“Hux.” Somehow Kylo’s voice had suddenly morphed into a deep, raspy entity that wrapped around Hux’s brain. “I would do _anything_ to hear you touch yourself.”

 

“Anything?”

 

“Anything,” Kylo confirmed. There was a new energy in the air, and Hux suspected it was shared on both ends of the phone connection. For an instant Hux wanted to be in Kylo’s room to do something – _anything_. Pull Kylo to his knees and feed him Hux’s cock; straddle him and rock their erections together until Kylo begged; flip him over and fuck Kylo so thoroughly into the mattress that the neighbours filed a noise complaint.

 

Hux weathered his bottom lip and then wheeled his chair backwards to lock his room’s door. He banished the desires swirling in his head, refusing to linger on what couldn’t be, but eager to take what he could get. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

 

“You can hold me to anything.” Kylo stated the words but with the way he said it, it sounded more like he was pleading for Hux to follow through.

 

“I intend to. Are you still using your hand?”

 

He could hear the sheets rustling, indicating that Kylo was still shifting his weight, but he wanted to hear Kylo admit it. “Yeah.”

 

“Push your underwear off and grab the lube. You can stay on your back or get onto your knees; whichever position you prefer for when I spread you open on my fingers.”

 

“Oh fuck.”

 

Kylo’s whisper was barely audible but Hux caught it. “Have you done this before?”

 

“Yeah, but not for a while,” Kylo told him. “I’m going to put you on speakerphone while I’m on my knees.”

 

Hux’s eyes were closed and he imagined the sight. “You look good on your knees,” he purred. His cock twitched, swelling further in his pants. Hux only managed to avoid touching himself by gripping the armrests tightly. “You’re going to look perfect taking my fingers and cock inside you.”

 

Kylo whined, full on _whined_. “I want your fingers and cock so much.”

 

“Lube up your first finger and circle the entrance of your hole. Imagine it’s me, teasing you just to make you squirm and ask for more,” Hux breathed into the phone. “I may push in the depth of a fingernail occasionally but otherwise my finger is just massaging the muscles around your entrance and spreading lube. How does it feel?”

 

“Like I want more,” Kylo shot back.

 

"Patience," Hux smirked. "Since you've been good so far I start to push one finger in and out of your hole as far as it will go, slowly so that it can brush against your insides. Once you've adjusted I grab the lube and coat a second finger before letting them both sink into your body." He listened to Kylo scrabbling for the lube and the container cap snapping open and closed again. Then there was more small shifting movements before Hux was treated to a drawn out groan.

 

"I'm tight," Kylo huffed.

 

"You saved yourself for me."

 

"Mhm," Hux got in return, and his smirk melted into an affectionate smile.

 

"You're doing so well for me," Hux murmured to Kylo. The phone was too far away from Kylo's ass to hear the wet sounds of his moving fingers but Hux could tell Kylo was fucking himself on his fingers judging by the shortness of his breath and the occasional quiet moan. "I'm very pleased. Can you take a third?"

 

"I want your cock."

 

Kylo sounded so broken that instinctively Hux pushed the heel of his hand against his straining erection, trying to take the edge off from his need. Hux's pulse raced in his ears and he attempted to keep the tremble from his voice. "Three fingers are going to be my cock and you're going to look so beautiful riding it."

 

" _Hux_..." Kylo's voice shuddered, hesitated, and then Hux heard the lube container being opened anew. Seemingly when Kylo had all three fingers slicked up and back against his entrance he asked uncertainly, "Can I...?"

 

"There's one word I want to hear," Hux forced himself to say, even though he was almost as desperate to hear Kylo fingering himself as Kylo was to feel it.

 

" _Please_ ," the word fell from Kylo's lips without restraint. "Please, please, please."

 

"Alright," Hux conceded. "I'm kneeling behind you and I grip one of your hips with a hand while the other lines up my cock against your stretched hole. I nudge against it slowly, allowing myself to sink in only as your body relaxes and spreads around me. You're so tight and hot... _Kylo_." Hux's palm is against his erection again and even through the fabric of his pants, Hux's cock jumps beneath his touch.

 

"More, Hux," Kylo begged.

 

"I continue to push until I'm as deep as I can go, your walls clenching around me and keeping me close," Hux continued to speak aloud the fantasy playing through his own mind to link himself and Kylo together however he could. "You feel so good that I know I'm beyond teasing you anymore. All I'm capable of is holding your hips and thrusting into you hard enough that you lose your breath; claiming you and making it so you won't forget me in the morning."

 

He was babbling. So was Kylo. "Wouldn't. Can't."

 

"When I finish I'm going to come inside you so that my seed is dripping out of your ass and down your thighs," Hux told him. "You're going to be sore and remember that it was me you bent over for."

 

"Yes; only you." Kylo was losing his breath, dragging it into his lungs in sharp gasps. Hux could hear the slight rock of the mattress and although it wasn't what he wanted, it would be enough. "Touch yourself, Hux."

 

And Hux did. Without even opening his eyes Hux fumbled open the front of his pants and shoved his hand past the waistband of his underwear. " _Kylo_ ," he whimpered as his hand wrapped around his own swollen cock. "I reach around with one hand and fist your cock in time with my thrusts. I want you to come for me, Kylo. I want to feel you tighten around me as you—"

 

" _Ah!_ " Kylo cried out, weak and needy as he undoubtedly came across his palm, his fingers buried in his ass. Hux stroked himself frantically as he listened to Kylo's orgasm rip through him. Hux couldn't remember the last time a client had been this vocal and sounded hot at the same time, rather than sounding a bit ridiculous. He clenched his eyes closed, desperate to cling to the fantasy of Kylo bucking below him. Hux didn't want to let it go; didn't want it to end. He bit his lip to avoid saying something out of place and before long he heard Kylo collapsing onto the mattress with a worn out sigh. When Kylo spoke again his voice sounded closer and Hux assumed he was holding his phone again. "You're too good at that."

 

Hux laughed breathless and forced his hand from his pants, ignoring the way his hips lifted in a silent plea for satisfaction. Kylo had finished and Hux had to let the fantasy unravel. "I'm happy to please." He reached over to grab a tissue and wipe his palm free of precome.

 

There were a few seconds of silence while Kylo caught his breath. "Did you finish too?"

 

Hux felt frazzled with a combination of nerves and arousal. How truthful should he be? "I... I got close."

 

"And then...?"

 

"You finished," Hux said, "so I stopped."

 

"You promised," Kylo whined. Technically Hux had done no such thing. "Please let me hear you when you finish."

 

Hux deliberated silently. "I don't want you paying for _me_ to get off."

 

"Think of it as me paying for future masturbatory material," Kylo smirked into the phone and Hux cursed. In that moment it didn't matter to Hux what he _should_ or _shouldn't_ do. The thought that Kylo, like Hux, was locking these memories away for future use had Hux's hand slipping back into his underwear. He hadn't softened in the slightest during the brief repose.

 

"So you're going to think of me next time you jerk off?" Hux asked. Between his racing heart and the movement from his hand, Hux's voice was shaky although neither of them commented on it.

 

"Hell yeah," Kylo said. "It's what I've done every time since our last call. Even at work on Wednesday."

 

"At work?"

 

"In one of the bathroom stalls," Kylo clarified. "Shoved my pants down and stroked myself off imagining you had ordered me to do it and not get caught."

 

Hux shook his head and scoffed quietly. "Sounds like you're not going to need my services for much longer if you're already making your own fantasies." Hux tried to sound light-hearted; truly he did. He wasn't sure if he was successful though.

 

"That's where you're wrong, Hux," Kylo told him. Hux said nothing. "Are you close?"

 

"Sort of," Hux admitted, plagued with a building embarrassment about the fact that it usually took him longer than the average to finish. The mental image of Kylo jerking off in his work bathroom thinking of Hux had caused a spike of arousal in his veins, but the thought of Kylo not calling anymore had just as quickly dampened it.

 

"You sound so hot." Kylo was trying to sound sultry and it was working. "You always sound hot, but right now it sounds like you're unravelling. Like you wouldn't even mind if I mussed up your gelled hair." Hux shoved his underwear out of the way and fisted himself in the open air of his work room, groaning when he felt the building pressure at the base of his spine. "Just hearing you makes me want to kneel in front of your chair and suck you into my mouth until you came down my throat."

 

"Kylo— _fuck_ —I—"And that was it. Words escaped Hux as his back bowed away from the chair, his cock pulsing as it shot thick ropes of come from the swollen head. Hux sucked needy gasps of air through his teeth until he started to catch his breath, which was when he released a tired, satiated moan instead. Only when he had fully recovered from his climax did Hux open his eyes, and he noticed that some of his come had splattered across his shirt. "Shit, that's going to stain."

 

Hux froze halfway to reaching for more tissues when he heard Kylo laugh, but after a moment Hux laughed too. He wiped up what he could, hoping no one would notice since he would be leaving work in the dark when it was the middle of the night. Then Hux was forced to tuck himself back into his pants and zip them up, trying to return himself to some semblance of normalcy.

 

"Yeah," Kylo sighed. "You're definitely wrong about me not calling anymore."

 

"Would it be weird of me to say 'I'm glad'?"

 

"I would be worried if you didn't," Kylo said. Kylo sounded increasingly tired and Hux remembered that it was now really late at night for any normal individual. "Hey Hux, can I ask you a personal question?"

 

"You can, though I reserve the right to not answer." Hux had been about to yawn but Kylo's request had flooded his body with a new wave of adrenaline.

 

"I know it's not my business but do you normally...? I mean, it would make sense with what you end up hearing during your work... It's just..." Kylo sounded more nervous than Hux was, which was saying something.

 

Hux was relieved that they were on the phone so Kylo couldn't see the blush overtaking Hux's face and ears. "Sometimes, especially when I first started out, I'd go home and get off," Hux confessed. He wasn't sure why; he just felt like Kylo deserved to know. "But this is the first time I've gotten off... live."

 

"Oh... good." Hux could imagine the goofy smile on Kylo's face.

 

Glancing at his computer screen, Hux realized how long their call had run. "Kylo you should go. This call will be expensive enough as it is."

 

"Money isn't a problem," Kylo said, but yawned. At the sound, Hux yawned too although he attempted unsuccessfully to stifle it. "I suppose I should get to bed though. Are you done soon?"

 

"3am." Less than three hours away now.

 

"Will you think about me when you get home?"

 

"When I get home I'm going to fall right into bed," Hux informed him, struggling through another yawn. This was why he shouldn't get off during a call; all he wanted to do now was curl up and sleep, not take more calls. "I'll think about you when I wake up with morning wood tomorrow though."

 

“Can I call again at the same time next week?” Kylo requested shyly after a moment.

 

Hux raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have anywhere you’d rather be on a Friday night?”

 

“Not that I can think of.”

 

“Alright then," Hux ran his fingers through his hair. He refused to voice his building anticipation at the thought of getting another call from Kylo, but he acknowledged it internally. What was he getting himself get into? "Call me."

 

"I will."

 

The call disconnected and Hux groaned, burying his face in his hands. He was so screwed.


	3. Chapter 3

It became a routine.

 

Every Friday Hux would wake up in the early afternoon with an erection tenting his pyjama pants. But unlike the rest of the week, Hux wouldn’t touch himself to get off. Perhaps it was foolish but he liked the idea of saving himself for later – for Kylo. Even if getting off in advance would give him more self-restraint when they were on the phone, Hux found the steadily building anticipation and need addicting. And he could tell that when this made him a little extra demanding and lewd in his descriptions, it turned Kylo on even more.

 

Kylo would call every Friday night a little after eleven, though sometimes if Hux was finishing up another call it would take them a while to connect. Kylo was patient and determined though, which Hux appreciated. Hux also liked the fact that his job requiring that he share sex talk with other strangers didn’t seem to bother Kylo much. At least he never said anything about it, except asking the occasional question to confirm Kylo was still the only person Hux had gotten off with live over the phone.

 

Hux understood that Kylo wanted to feel special. And although that might normally annoy him, in this case he didn’t mind. After all, Kylo _was_ special. Hux didn’t exactly have the words to explain why this was the case. He had come across other men during his job that sounded just as attractive and described their own actions in the shared fantasy with enough skill that Hux would almost assume they were also sex call agents. Yet the names and voices slipped from his memory as soon as the calls disconnected.

 

Kylo, by comparison, had undeniably begun to invade Hux’s thoughts and memory night and day.

 

Occasionally when Kylo greeted him, Hux would be informed that Kylo had gone out and purchased a new toy for them to use. First it was a dildo, then a vibrator, then a cock ring, then a vibrating dildo… There were other toys Hux wanted to use on Kylo – a blindfold, handcuffs, massage oil – but was restrained by the limitations of their phone calls so he never suggested Kylo purchase any of these.

 

Hux led Kylo through the use of each new toy, and before long he had had Kylo crying out his name in nearly every room of his apartment. The bed was a common location, especially when Kylo was learning how to use a new toy. The couch was also common, though it felt less intimate than the bed. They tried the shower once but the water spray overpowered the speakerphone’s volume. Beyond that Hux had had Kylo bent over his kitchen counter (“ _Best to not tell my parents next time they’re over for dinner_ ”), spread across his dining room table (“ _If it breaks I’m sending you the bill_ ”), and once, on a particularly warm summer night, on Kylo’s back balcony with the lights turned off (“ _Want you riding my dick with the air on our skin_ ”).

 

Hux had never bottomed in his life and frankly the idea of doing so terrified him. He worried it would hurt, and the idea of giving up control to someone else was unsettling. However, Hux never scolded Kylo or fought these little dominant comments that occasionally slipped from his lips in the heat of the moment. He figured it didn’t matter since it was never a true possibility while they were on the phone, and he didn’t want to spoil Kylo’s fantasy.

 

And if Hux was honest with himself, his fear wasn’t enough to dampen the arousal he could sometimes get imagining himself bouncing in Kylo’s lap, large hands gripping his hips hard enough to leave marks.

 

Against Hux’s better judgement, they also started to talk more freely about themselves. Hux made sure to always follow policy and not provide any personal identifying information. Kylo seemed less concerned with this, or at least wasn’t bound by company regulations. Hux learned that Kylo was nearly thirty-one and quietly Hux confessed that he was thirty-four. Kylo also told Hux that he was an actor, though not well known yet, that his favourite food was a burger from the grill, and that yes, people really did say his ears, nose and lips were too big.

 

“I’ll never be a Hollywood pretty boy,” Kylo said once. “But I figure I’ll at least be recognizable if I ever become famous enough. I bet you if I ever become famous and end up on a magazine cover, you’ll know it’s me just because of my features.” Hux laughed to cover the ache in his chest from the desire to truly see Kylo’s face, to touch and to know.

 

Weeks rapidly turned into months. It got to the point where if Kylo didn’t call on a Friday evening, Hux began to worry if he was alright. The relief Hux would feel the next time he heard from Kylo was just as damning, reminding him that he was slipping willingly into dangerous territory. Hux was single and although he suspected that Kylo was too considering his loyal patronage, Hux had no way of knowing. Besides, _it didn’t matter_. At least that’s what Hux told himself.

 

Kylo was calling into a _sex hotline_ , not a dating service. And even though Hux was almost positive that Kylo only called him and didn’t speak with anyone else, that didn’t mean he wanted to _date_ Hux. It was just a matter of feeling comfortable, Hux told himself. After all, when Kylo had first started calling in he sounded nervous whereas now he was significantly more relaxed; why would Kylo want to go through the effort of calling someone else and starting over if Hux was just as easy to call?

 

It wasn’t like Hux was great dating material anyway. Who would want to date someone whose overnight job had them whispering sexy nothings in the ears of strangers? Talk about an intimacy killer, Kylo wondering if Hux meant any of the things Hux said to his clients. Hux was good with his voice but was he really someone Kylo could imagine taking out to dinner or sitting on the couch with to watch a movie? Did the mental image of waking up cuddled in bed together ever flit across Kylo’s mind, or stand out stronger than the fantasies of Hux pinning him to the mattress? Would Kylo be anything other than bored when he learned that all Hux had in his life was a handful of friends, too many books, and a cat?

 

Doubtful.

 

Hux sighed and scrubbed at his face. His affection for Kylo grew by the day, fostered with both attraction and intrigue as Hux learned more about him each week. Hux had initially found himself distracted only with daydreams of actually feeling Kylo’s hair between his fingers, Kylo’s lips around his cock, and their heated skin pressed together. As the months wore on and summer slipped into autumn and edged towards winter, Hux was overtaken by more domestic fantasies.

 

He daydreamed about what Kylo’s apparently-huge lips would feel like against his own narrow ones. He daydreamed about what it would be like walking through the park with their hands twined. He daydreamed about what it would be like coming home to a lived-in apartment and being able to curl up in Kylo’s arms after one of the rare but upsetting abusive callers. Hux thought about all this and more but he pined silently, reminding himself that if he didn’t say anything inappropriate, he could at least keep these weekly calls with Kylo.

 

What would Hux do when Kylo inevitably got bored and stopped calling, or decided it was too expensive to bother? Hux wouldn’t let himself dwell on that question because he didn’t have an answer and thinking about it made it difficult to breathe.

 

#

 

“Thank you for keeping me company this evening.”

 

“I remember the first time I called, I nearly creamed my briefs hearing you say that,” Kylo chuckled.

 

Hux’s lips quirked with amusement. “Are you saying you don’t want to cream your briefs now?”

 

“You always make me want to cream my briefs, Hux,” Kylo’s voice dropped an octave. “And frequently I do exactly that. I’m just saying it sounds kind of funny hearing you say that when I call now.”

 

Hux shrugged even though Kylo couldn’t see the movement. “It’s not like I know it’s you until I hear your voice.” Hux didn’t bother pointing out that he wouldn’t answer his personal phone the same way he answered his work phone during business hours.

 

“True.” Kylo was smiling, though Hux wasn’t sure why. “Anyway, I have a surprise for us tonight.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“A vibrating cock ring,” Kylo proclaimed proudly.

 

Ever since Kylo had discovered vibrating sex toys he seemed incapable of going back. Hux snorted. “You know, you better not be disappointed when you have sex with someone someday and are reminded that cocks don’t actually vibrate.”

 

“I know that,” Kylo scoffed. “But that’s not a problem right now and I might as well have fun, right?”

 

“I suppose,” Hux said instead of asking to confirm that Kylo meant he was single. “Did you have a specific place in mind?”

 

“Anywhere you want me, Hux.”

 

Fuck, that wasn’t fair. Kylo was getting too good at using his voice to rile Hux up in return. Hux didn’t get off every Friday on the phone with Kylo since it still felt a bit odd jerking off at work, but it was frequent that he did. And even when he didn’t, it was only a matter of time until he touched himself the next morning in bed as he replayed his memories. Hux hadn’t even needed to watch porn for the last two months, saturated as he was with his own repertoire of source material.

 

“I want you on the bed,” Hux said roughly, hoping Kylo wouldn’t pick up on how genuine Hux’s words were.

 

“Hang on, let me grab everything.” Hux listened to the sound of crinkling bags, a bedside drawer getting opened and closed again, and the sigh of a mattress bowing beneath new weight. “Okay, I’m ready. I’m still dressed by the way.”

 

“Of course you are,” Hux smirked. “You like stripping for me.”

 

“This is true,” Kylo conceded willingly.

 

Hux got an idea. “I think this time I’m going to fuck you fully clothed.”

 

“How—?”

 

“Get your pants and underwear down enough to put the cock ring on and then pull everything back up,” Hux ordered. He kept his own pants zippered closed, determined to ignore temptation for as long as possible.

 

"I don't know why I still call you." Despite Kylo's grumblings, Hux could still hear Kylo's pants being shoved down and the package of the cock ring getting ripped open.

 

"Because you love—it," Hux tripped over his words and winced.

 

"Hell yes I do," Kylo agreed without hesitation, as if it was obvious. Hux exhaled silently, feeling himself relax somewhat. He listened to a few grunts as Kylo worked and then got the confirmation. "Done."

 

"I didn't hear a zipper."

 

More grumbling. "I'll fix that right away, _sir_."

 

Hux's breath hitched. That was new. "Don't make me tie you up and do it myself."

 

He heard the zipper, and Kylo's groan. "Don't make promises you don't intend to keep."

 

Intention had nothing to do with it, and Hux barely restrained himself from telling that to Kylo. "I always keep my promises," he said instead, refocusing on the fantasy he was trying to weave. "Does your new cock ring have intensity options?"

 

"Yeah, five," Kylo said.

 

"You're allowed to turn it to the lowest setting but you will _not_ touch yourself with your hand."

 

Hux wasn't sure if he was going to get more sass in return but then he heard a click of a remote and a more drawn out groan from Kylo. The phone was too far away from Kylo's crotch to hear the vibration of the cock ring against his pants, but the effect it had on Kylo was obvious. The sheets shifted, and shifted again. Kylo couldn't seem to settle and yet the noisiness of his breathing indicated that Kylo didn't mind in the slightest. "Always a tease," Kylo accused.

 

"It makes you beg louder," Hux informed him playfully. When he received no protests, he moved on to his next idea. "Now grab your dildo but don't put lube on it." Hux had reminded Kylo to always wash his toys after they were done. Not only because it was hygienic but so that they could avoid stalling the momentum of the fantasy during their next phone call.

 

"You've made me wait a week for this," Hux said, aware of the tremor in his voice betraying the anticipation he had grown to expect when it came to Kylo. "So I'm going to take you and make you mine."

 

"Hux..."

 

Hux paused but Kylo said nothing else after trailing off so Hux continued. "I get on the bed and straddle your chest, my knees hooking against your ribs and my weight keeping you in place. I hold your gaze as I undo my jeans slowly and fish myself out of my underwear. I don't have the patience to strip you tonight, nor myself." Hux offered another truth. "I'm already half hard from thinking about this and I stroke myself lazily in front of you. What do you say?"

 

"Please."

 

"Please what?"

 

"I want to suck you off, Hux," Kylo told him. "Please let me."

 

"Since you asked so nicely I lean forward and brush the head of my cock against your lips, spreading precome and nudging them open before pushing inside. I rest my free hand lightly against your throat to feel it constrict as you open your mouth and suck me in."

 

" _Mmm_ ," Kylo moaned and Hux could tell Kylo already had the end of the dildo in his mouth, following every action Hux was describing. Hux imagined it was his cock Kylo was moaning around instead of the dildo, that he could feel the vibration and watch every detail.

 

"I ease more of my length past your lips, feeling my cock rest on your tongue as it fills your mouth up." By now Hux's eyes were fully closed and he dragged his palm impatiently over his erection through his pants. "Once you're full of my cock I leave your lips spread around it and reach back to touch you and see if you're hard."

 

" _Mhm_!" Kylo still had his mouth full but his noises sounded insistent, like he was determined for Hux to know how much he was affected by Hux's words. He appreciated the confirmation. Hux wasn't one to second guess his abilities after so much practice but he still liked hearing Kylo tell him all the same.

 

Hux opened his mouth to continue speaking but grunted in confusion when he heard Kylo's phone beep. "What—?"

 

There was a wet noise from Kylo yanking the dildo from his mouth. "Shit."

 

"What's that?" Hux asked.

 

"My uncle is calling on the other line," Kylo explained. "Shit, shit, shit!"

 

Hux tried to get his arousal under control. "Can't you call him back later?"

 

Kylo's sigh sounded aggrieved. "He only calls when it's an emergency. Hux, I'm so sorry but I have to go."

 

"It's—" the phone line clicked and went dead, "okay."

 

Hux sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Hux knew he was in over his head when, being left with a straining erection, Hux was worried about Kylo instead of angry at being abandoned. He spent the rest of his shift being irritated with any other client who called, worried that Kylo might be trying to contact him again but unable to get through. It didn’t take long for Hux’s erection to wane as he worried, and when he got home and into bed Hux struggled to fall asleep. It wasn’t his business or his place, but he wanted to know what had happened and if Kylo was okay. Without a personal phone number, Hux could only hope that Kylo would call back soon and assure him that everything was alright.

 

#

 

Three weeks passed without any word from Kylo and it was starting to drive Hux insane. Hux found himself becoming shorter and more irritable with his clients, though he did his best to not make it obvious. After all, it wasn’t their fault that they weren’t the one Hux wanted to call him. Hux ran more and ate less, bouncing back and forth between concern for Kylo and frustration at himself for acting this way when he didn’t have the right.

 

Eventually Hux grated on his friend Phasma’s nerves enough that she decided he wasn’t allowed to mope anymore. “I have two tickets to see a community theatre show tomorrow and you’re coming.”

 

“Phasma, I don’t really feel like—”

 

“No excuses,” she stated firmly and hung up.

 

Knowing that she would drag him physically from his apartment in whatever state of attire he was wearing if he didn’t comply, Hux dressed up the next day and drove to pick her up. Phasma was significantly taller than him and often groused about the lack of legroom in Hux’s car. Today though she didn’t complain at all, except to remind Hux again that he was being needlessly moody and had to lighten up.

 

“After all, I’m sure things are fine and he’s just busy,” she said again, trying to ease his concerns. Since she was one of Hux’s only friends, and certainly his closest, she had been trusted with the full story about his blooming feelings for Kylo. “Besides, maybe this break will give you some time to either put things into perspective and move on with your life, or grow a pair and say something to him.”

 

“First of all, he said his uncle only called during emergencies,” Hux tapped an impatient finger on the steering wheel while he waited for a light to turn green. He and Phasma had already cycled through this discussion twice. “Second, he’s been calling me basically every week for almost half a year – three weeks without a call is not normal. And third, the existence or development of my balls doesn’t need to be questioned. Why would I say something and scare him off? In fact, he probably isn’t calling because he’s gotten bored.” That thought made it hard to swallow and Hux was glad that he was forced to focus on the road instead of following that idea into a downward spiral of misery.

 

Phasma merely shook her head and looked out the window. “You’re impossible.”

 

“You can’t tell me with absolute certainty that I’m wrong,” Hux pointed out.

 

And it was true, so Phasma said nothing. That hurt more, somehow. As much as the pining and the uncertainty were uncomfortable, the silent admittance from his friend that he might be right was downright painful.

 

Hux suspected Phasma could sense this because after a few minutes she reached over and gave his shoulder a nudge. “Just try and keep your mind busy. I know it’s shitty right now but if it wasn’t meant to work out you _will_ move on eventually. Until then, we’ll keep you occupied. Dinner is on me after the show.”

 

“Phasma you don’t have to—” Hux started to protest, aware that his friend was already treating him to the theatre tickets.

 

“I know,” she said simply.

 

Hux sighed but then smiled. “Thanks.”

 

It only took a few more minutes for them to reach the community centre and for Hux to find a parking spot. Together he and Phasma walked into the lobby of the centre where they found the door leading into the large theatre. This was a performance hall that could be booked and used by anyone from school groups to famous performers who wanted a more intimate experience than performing at a massive stadium. Hux knew this wasn’t Broadway by any means but, judging by the set design and props waiting in place on stage, this show wasn’t low budget either.

 

Their seats were the fifth row up from the stage and on one of the aisles so that Phasma had all the legroom she wanted. They had arrived ten minutes early so Hux and Phasma chatted quietly while the rest of the audience filtered into the room to find their own seats. Hux was told that the play was a blend of drama and comedy where a man hires a female escort to accompany him to his family Christmas dinner, the escort acting as his girlfriend so the man wouldn’t be pestered with questions about him being single, or having to admit that he’s gay.

 

It sounded like an entertaining enough plot so Hux fell quiet and turned his gaze to the stage when the lights in the theatre dimmed so only the stage was illuminated. Hux watched a tall, broad-shouldered man with long dark hair pace back and forth across the stage, what appeared to be a Christmas dinner invitation clenched in one hand. After a few seconds of silent deliberation the man pulled a business card from his pants pocket, looked it over, and sat at a desk with an old telephone.

 

The man dialled the number, raised the phone to his ear, waited and then said, “Hello is this Lillian’s Escort Service?”

 

And Hux tensed up because _no_ , _not possible_. Despite the darkness of the theatre Hux immediately grabbed the programme he had previously ignored and flipped through to the page with the cast and crew members. And there, right at the top of the list of “ _In order of appearance…_ ”

 

_Jeremy Banks – played by Kylo Ren._

 

Hux’s hands clenched and accidentally wrinkled the glossy pages of the programme. He didn’t need to know Kylo’s last name to know it was him standing on stage. Hux was intimately familiar with that voice. He had come to the sound of it and memorized it, how Kylo sounded when he was being friendly or flirty or on the edge of spilling in his pants with a dildo shoved up his ass imagining it was Hux’s cock.

 

“ _Shit_ ,” he whispered quietly to himself.

 

Phasma leaned in to whisper in his ear, “What’s wrong with you?”

 

In answer Hux yanked the programme open and pointed at Kylo’s name in print. Phasma looked at it and then back at Hux, her eyes widening. There was nothing they could do though without disrupting the play so Phasma merely gave Hux a sympathetic pat to his knee and Hux was forced to try to stay calm. It wasn’t an easy feat as Kylo’s voice and _presence_ overwhelmed Hux’s senses. Hux had envisioned Kylo for months and fostered a strong affection for the man, so to suddenly see him and watch him move while hearing him talk was… overwhelming. 

 

Hux took in the “rats nest” of black hair which must’ve been combed for the performance. He took in the tall, muscular build, and the facial features Kylo had often claimed were oversized. Granted, Kylo’s ears did seem a little large but only when Kylo pushed his hair too far back from his face. Kylo’s nose was fine and his lips… well, all Hux was able to think about for a few minutes was how perfect those lips would look around his cock. To avoid getting an erection in his seat, Hux forced himself away from that thought and returned to his studying.

 

As he took in the more subtle details of Kylo’s face and posture, Hux started to feel a growing sense of anger and _hurt_. Hux had been worried for weeks that Kylo had received such dire news from his uncle that he had to leave town or drop everything to deal with a funeral or illness or something similar. Yet when Hux studied Kylo’s face, even though he knew that Kylo was an actor, Hux didn’t see a hint of stress or tension. Kylo didn’t even look _tired_.

 

 _So_ , Hux thought to himself, _he just decided to stop calling you_.

 

Hux felt vaguely queasy but knew he couldn't escape. He didn't want to disturb the play or worse, draw attention to himself. Not that Kylo would recognize Hux and know it was him as long as Hux didn't speak. There were plenty of redheads around and Hux had only provided the basic physical details of his appearance. But regardless, Hux wasn't sure he could survive having Kylo's eyes rest on him blankly or with annoyance.

 

So Hux slumped in his seat and attempted – and failed – to focus on the plot instead of simply staring at Kylo whenever he was on stage. The story itself was funny but Hux couldn't do more than quirk his lips even while Phasma was bursting with laughter. Hux couldn't help it; his insides felt soured. All he wanted to do was go home, curl up in bed and try to forget the rest of the world existed.

 

Hux clapped along with the rest of the audience when the play finished and the actors took their bows at the centre of the stage. It was with relief that Hux realized they could finally leave. His heart lay in tatters in his chest and it would be a slow, laborious process to stitch the pieces back together again. Perhaps he would take some time off work. In his current mindset Hux knew he wouldn't do a good job anyway and, now that Hux knew Kylo had just decided to stop calling, there was no benefit to forcing himself into work.

 

"If anyone has any questions about the production, myself and a few other actors and crew members will be out in the lobby for the next few minutes."

 

Kylo's voice easily filled the room without the aid of a microphone and Hux tensed as though he had been assaulted. He and Phasma stood and shuffled out of the theatre with the rest of the audience but once they were out in the lobby, Phasma pulled him away from the crowd and the doors. "You should go talk to him," she said, looking him over.

 

"Absolutely not," Hux hissed, furious with her for even suggesting such a thing and delaying his escape.

 

"At least if he rejects you, you'll know for sure," Phasma pointed out.

 

"I already feel rejected enough, thanks," Hux huffed. He was aware of the fact that his voice sounded slightly strangled. "He obviously stopped calling for a reason so who am I to barge in and demand an answer?" Hux swallowed hard. "He doesn't owe me anything."

 

Phasma shook her head and crossed her arms. "You really are impossible."

 

Hux heard a heavy door further down the lobby opening and a collection of footsteps. They both looked over to see a few cast and crew members chatting and laughing amongst themselves and standing in a half-formed circle in case anyone wanted to approach them. Hux saw Kylo pushing his hair away from his eyes as he leaned lazily against the wall and listened to what the lead actress was saying to him. Kylo's eyes glanced around the lobby slowly and Hux quickly turned his back.

 

"Phasma, don't make me," Hux begged. "I just want to leave."

 

"Alright," she sighed. "I have to go to the bathroom though."

 

"I'll wait in the car," Hux stated and walked outside as calmly as possible. He didn't want Kylo looking at him. He didn't want Kylo _not_ looking at him. It was better if he just got as far away as possible and avoided any potential run-ins.

 

Although Hux was slightly suspicious that Phasma might do something horrifying like drag Kylo out to Hux's car, she returned to the car promptly with no one in tow. "Do you still feel able to eat?" she asked him kindly, likely already knowing the answer.

 

Hux shook his head. His stomach was still twisted into knots that made the thought of eating seem impossible. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the day with my foolishness."

 

Phasma punched him lightly on the arm. "Don't apologize; I get it. What do you think you're going to do though?"

 

Hux shrugged and started the car engine. "I'm going to take some time off work." He had decided in his few minutes of solitude that it would be good for him. "I'm going to run when the weather isn't shit and read the rest of the time." Christmas was fast approaching but Hux had no family alive that he wanted to celebrate the occasion with. "I'll be there for your New Year's party."

 

"Of course you will," Phasma smirked. "No one misses my New Year's parties." They reminisced about previous New Year's parties until Hux reached Phasma's building to drop her off. Phasma unclipped her seatbelt and then looked over at Hux, giving him another pat on the leg. "You'll figure it out, Hux."

 

 _I hope so_ , he thought to himself. "Thanks," he said aloud and waved Phasma off when she exited the car. It wasn't a long drive back to Hux's own building and the thought of curling up in his blankets with Millie for company was enough to get him home. It may take time, but he'd figure this out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you again for all of your support and encouragement! I'm so happy and excited knowing you're all enjoying this story so much :D

Kylo sat on his couch, looking over the torn sheet of paper he twirled idly between his fingers. He could tell the strip of paper had been torn from the play's programme because he recognized the advertisements on the back side of the paper. What Kylo didn't know was who the tall blond woman was who shoved it into his hand, looking at Kylo like there was something wrong with him, or what the intention of the woman's message had been. Kylo had been so stunned at having a stranger shove a piece of paper into his hand that by the time he had recovered, she had already left the building.

 

 _Someone misses you_.

 

That's what she had written on the sheet of programme paper and shoved into Kylo's hand. The first person that had come to Kylo's mind was Hux before Kylo brushed the idea away, chiding himself for his whimsical hopes. After that he struggled to think of who the blond woman might be talking about. Kylo wasn't exactly a great socialiser and didn't connect with many people so he couldn't possibly think about who might be missing him.

 

When Kylo couldn't come up with any other guesses that seemed logical, his mind inevitably flitted back to Hux. Before the sheet of paper had been pushed into his hand, hadn't Kylo seen the blond woman standing further down the lobby with a redheaded man? Or was that wishful thinking on Kylo's part?

 

"Fuck," Kylo muttered to himself, barely containing his frustration.

 

Kylo missed Hux so badly it was a constant ache he carried daily. It felt like someone had broken his ribs open and ripped his heart out, and Kylo knew he had no one to blame but himself. After all, he was the one who hadn't called Hux for the last month; it wasn't like Hux had his personal number to get in contact with Kylo.

 

 _Not that he would anyway_ , Kylo's mind supplied. Kylo knotted his fingers in his hair and clenched his eyes closed, the ache mounting in intensity.

 

It had been such a shitty month. When Kylo hung up on Hux to answer the call from his uncle, Kylo knew bad news was coming. Somehow he hadn't prepared himself for the possibility that his mother had had a heart attack and was lying in hospital, barely clinging to life. It had already been nearly the middle of the night when Kylo called Hux, the city around him dark and quiet. But with his mother's declining state of health there was no 'waiting until morning'.

 

Kylo had yanked the cock ring off but otherwise left everything on the bed. Then he packed an overnight bag frantically, throwing in random clothes and toiletries since he didn't know what he would need or how long he'd be away. He plugged his phone into the dash of his car to let it charge while he chugged a cardboard cup of coffee from the nearest drive-thru and drove the two hours north to the town where his parents lived.

 

When Kylo arrived at the hospital a nurse led him to his mother's room. He was angry but not surprised when he found his mother alone in the room. Uncle Luke was picking up Kylo's cousin Rey to bring her, and Kylo's father Han had probably scampered off to bunker down and wait until it was all over. Kylo's father had never been very good at handling serious situations or loss, instead shutting down or reverting to unwanted joking.

 

Leia was hooked up to a bunch of monitors that beeped slowly and sadly. She was asleep – hadn't woken up yet after the heart attack, the nurse had told Kylo. And it turned out that even with Kylo sitting at her bedside holding her hands, begging for her to open her eyes and apologizing for not sticking around, she would never wake up again. Leia flat-lined thirty minutes before dawn, and an hour before Luke showed up with Rey.

 

Kylo was too shell shocked to cry; it had been too sudden, happened too fast. The whiplash of it seemed to spur rather than stem the tears of Rey and Luke. Kylo excused himself from the room to call Han and wasn't surprised when he got his father's voicemail instead of a live answer. "She's dead, you cowardly asshole. Are you going to show up anytime soon?"

 

Thankfully despite the fact that Luke was generally the hermit sort, he took on the duties of dealing with the details of his sister's death. Kylo was grateful because he wouldn't have known what to do. Paperwork and money for the hospital, financial accounts, funeral details... Kylo's head spun throughout the next three days while everything got sorted in a whirlwind. He could barely stomach food and despite feeling exhausted, sleep eluded him.

 

Han showed up to the funeral but stood far enough away that Kylo couldn't say anything to him without causing a scene. Part way through the proceedings Kylo noticed Han's shoulders shaking as silent tears fell down his cheeks. Kylo stuffed his hands into the pockets of his rented suit, still angry but forcing himself to accept that everyone handled grief differently. Han hadn't been a perfect father but he had tried. At this point Kylo was too exhausted to maintain his grudge.

 

Luke offered for Kylo and Rey to stay with him. Rey agreed to the offer and the obligation of helping Luke and Han sort through Leia's things. Kylo declined, doubting his ability to fulfil the obligation and desperate to get back to normal life. It felt like a rug had been ripped from beneath his feet, leaving him unsteady, but he knew the only way he could find his footing again would be to keep pushing himself back into his routine until it felt right again.

 

Kylo hadn't even realized a week had elapsed until he stepped back into his apartment and found his sex toys left scattered on his bedspread. He cleaned everything up and lay down in bed, fiddling with his cell phone in one hand. It was Friday night and the urge to call Hux was consuming. But Kylo knew that what he wanted from Hux then was both inappropriate and impossible. He couldn't call a sex hotline agent to vent, to cry, to mourn, to receive comfort and reassurance that the sun would keep rising and setting until Kylo remembered how to breathe without it hurting.

 

Hux would be polite and kind when he told Kylo this; Kylo had no doubt. But Kylo knew with certainty that he couldn't survive being rejected by Hux right now, to be reminded that the affection Kylo had developed for Hux was one-sided and somewhat pathetic. So Kylo set his phone aside and curled up under his blankets, letting the tears slip free and sobs wrack his body until exhaustion finally claimed him.

 

#

 

The play was a godsent. They were close enough to opening night that Kylo had no choice but to force himself to focus and make it work. There were moments during the story that he struggled through; mainly the scenes where he would have a fight with his 'mother' and internally remember all the times he had yelled at Leia and never said sorry. Kylo bottled all this up though, acting the way the rest of the cast and crew needed him to, and then released his control only when he was home.

 

One of the walls in his apartment had a fist-shaped dent he would need to repair, and three of his knuckles needed to be wrapped in a bandage. Kylo was scolded by the doctor at the nearby walk-in clinic that he was lucky no bones had been broken. Kylo barely swallowed his snarl that _lucky was the last thing Kylo was_. Afterwards Kylo went home and nursed too large a bottle of tequila and woke up the next morning with a splitting headache, new tears wetting his pillow.

 

As the days wore on and opening night approached, Kylo fell into a workable rhythm. He became numb to the scenes with his 'mother' and the rest of the play became easy since it provided the skin of a different man Kylo could hide within until he got back to his apartment. It was only then, when he was home alone, that Kylo fell to pieces all over again like he was still in the hospital watching his mother slip away from him.

 

Every day and night Kylo thought about Hux. He wondered what Hux was doing – when he was sleeping, when he woke up, what he liked best for breakfast when he first woke up. Kylo wondered if Hux had gotten any other interesting callers; if anyone had made Hux smile and laugh and moan the way Kylo had. Kylo was haunted by the desire to call and hear Hux's voice again, as well as the fear of being turned away.

 

Kylo reminded himself that Hux had a job to do and having Kylo stop being such a pest was probably a huge relief. And even if Hux truly hadn't minded the fact that Kylo called him almost religiously each Friday night, it wasn't fair for Kylo to ever expect or demand more. Kylo had toyed briefly with the idea of calling Hux and pretending like nothing had happened, picking up where they left off and keeping his adoration locked away. But Kylo knew he was too emotionally raw to be successful in that attempt. Hux would pick up on it, question him, and Kylo would break.

 

To cope, Kylo threw himself even more insistently into his acting until opening night, which was just over two weeks after his mother had passed away. The night was a success, as was every performance afterwards. The producers were already talking to him about another show they wanted Kylo to work on even though the current play was to have two months of performances before wrapping up.

 

The pain from losing his mother and the lonely ache from missing Hux didn't lessen but Kylo found some manageable rhythm to get through the days. And he was so exhausted by the end of the day that he started sleeping again. That was until the tall woman with blond hair shoved a torn strip of paper in his hand and vanished. Kylo sighed and read the words again: _Someone misses you_.

 

What was he supposed to do with that knowledge? Call up everyone he had ever spoken to but wouldn't have his number to see if they had been trying to track him down? That didn't sound enjoyable; it would just make him look crazy. Plus, there was only one person from his past Kylo even _wanted_ to reconnect with, and he already told himself that was a bad idea. Kylo had ended the call with Hux abruptly and then not called back for a month. What would Hux think of him if Kylo called him now?

 

"Fuck," Kylo said again and then reached for his phone.

 

Kylo decided that he didn't just want to call Hux, he _needed_ to call. The pining and the uncertainty was making Kylo lose his mind, and he had been pushed to the brink where he was willing to accept a written note from a stranger as a sign. If he was wrong – which he probably was – so be it. If Hux didn't want to talk to him because of Kylo's rude goodbye and absence, so be it. If Hux mocked him or even sympathetically said he understood but didn't feel the same, so be it. Kylo needed to know.

 

And if the rejection broke what was left of his heart?

 

So be it.

 

The phone number was pre-programmed into his contacts list and Kylo had it ringing before he could second-guess himself. “Thank you for calling the First Order Hotline where we want to make all of your fantasies come true..." By now Kylo had the opening spiel memorized and he provided all the initial information quickly. Once the woman on the phone asked him where he wanted to be directed, Kylo took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

 

"I'd like to speak to Hux in the dom/sub department, please."

 

"One moment." Kylo heard fingers on a keyboard. "I'm afraid he's not available. May I transfer you to one of our other male agents?"

 

"If he's on a call I'll wait," Kylo said. His heart was racing so badly he feared passing out.

 

"Sorry sir, but he's not on the schedule. Is there anyone else—?"

 

"No, there's no one else I want to talk to!" Kylo snapped and then winced. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Um, can you please tell me when he's working next and I'll call back then?" Kylo could feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He had worked himself up to this call and his body was trembling with adrenaline and nerves.

 

He could tell the agent wasn't happy with him for his outburst but Kylo heard her using the keyboard again. "He's not on the schedule and his return date is unknown," she informed him brusquely. "Now if you won't be redirected then I must end this call to serve our other clients."

 

"Oh..." Kylo mumbled, dazed. "I'm sorry," he said and then hung up.

 

The tears came but they rolled down his cheeks slowly, tickling his neck when they made it that far. Kylo had promised himself that he would get to hear Hux's voice tonight. Even if the call ended badly and Hux told Kylo to never call again, Kylo would've gotten to talk to him at least one last time. Now even that had been ripped from him, and somehow it felt as final as pressing a finger to his mother's wrist and not feeling a pulse.

 

The following Friday against his better judgement Kylo called and asked for Hux but was again told that Hux wasn't on the schedule. Kylo thanked the agent and hung up. He didn't know what it meant when they said Hux wasn't on the schedule. Was Hux on vacation? Had he quit? Or had Hux told the receiving agents to screen any future calls from Kylo so that he wouldn't have to talk to him? In the end it didn't matter, Kylo knew. Hux was gone from his life and there was nothing Kylo could do to get him back.

 

#

 

It was their last show before the theatre shut down the following day for Christmas and remained closed until New Year’s Day. While they had debated on the pros and cons of staying open during the holiday, there were simply too many people from the cast and crew that needed to travel out of town for their own celebrations. The production decided to cut their losses and take the week to rest and come back in the new year refreshed.

 

The snow was falling hard and fast outside. Kylo wasn’t expecting any of the audience members to linger long enough to talk to the cast and crew but Kylo had made the offer as always, and so he stood out in the lobby against the wall waiting obligingly until everyone else vacated the building. He was still in his character’s costume but the jacket was warm enough that he wasn’t uncomfortable when the lobby doors kept opening and allowing snowy wind to billow in.

 

Out of the corner of his eye Kylo noticed someone lingering. When he looked over his eyes widened. It was the tall blond woman who had shoved the note into his hand. Kylo pushed himself away from the wall and the rest of the production members who were chatting among themselves, approaching the stranger as quickly as he dared without looking deranged. “It’s you, right? From before?”

 

“Phasma,” she said while holding out a hand for Kylo to shake.

 

“Kylo,” he introduced himself needlessly, his brain currently scrambled. “Can you tell me who your note was referring to?”

 

Phasma shook her head, looking apologetic, but before Kylo could get too dismayed she said, “Not directly.”

 

Kylo forced himself to think. “Did I see you standing with a redheaded man before you gave me that note last time?”

 

Now she was smiling slightly, perhaps pleased with Kylo’s progress. “Yes.”

 

Kylo swallowed his pride and any fear he might have about looking like a fool. If it could get him in contact with Hux again, it would all be worth it. “Phasma, is it Hux? Do you know someone named Hux?” She nodded and Kylo felt desperate relief well up inside him. “Oh god, I tried to call him at work but they said he was off the schedule and I couldn’t contact him and I didn’t get to tell him how I feel and—and—he misses me?”

 

Phasma was still smiling. “He does.”

 

Kylo took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. “Phasma, I know it may sound crazy and you can laugh if you want to but I… I think I love him. I know I screwed up by disappearing and that it’s been a while, but I want to tell him that. I want him to know. And he deserves an explanation. Can you help me?”

 

“He’d skin me alive if I gave you his phone number. Plus I’m not sure either of you have the brains to figure this out over the phone anymore. But…” Kylo deflated and then perked up again immediately. “I’m hosting a New Year’s Eve party and you should come. He’ll be there. I don’t know how he’ll react since he’s been trying to get over you since you vanished,” she cautioned him. “But I think you both deserve a chance to talk it out.”

 

Hearing Phasma say that Hux was trying to get over him felt like a knife to the chest but Kylo breathed through the pain. “Thank you,” he said with genuine gratitude as Phasma wrote her address and phone number on the back of her new play programme and handed it over to Kylo. “Thank you.”

 

“Don’t screw it up,” she told him, and Kylo took that advice and warning to heart.

 

#

 

Kylo arrived at Phasma’s apartment building a little before 11:30pm. Phasma had told him that Hux was arriving early to help her set up, and Kylo had decided that he was too nervous to show up before the rest of the crowd. It was going to be awkward enough already; at least if there were a bunch of other people there and Hux rejected him Kylo could disappear into the crowd and escape without anyone noticing.

 

By the time he arrived the party was in full swing. Phasma had rented out the party room on the second floor of the building. It had two large indoor rooms where people could chat, dance and grab food and drinks, and was attached to an outdoor terrace set up with heating lamps in case anyone wanted fresh air or to smoke. Kylo immediately plastered himself against a wall, trying to avoid the throng of people and spot Hux without getting trampled.

 

Kylo spotted Hux and Phasma together in the second room where the makeshift dance floor was set up beside the doors to the terrace. And Hux looked _so, so good_. Hux was wearing a button-up shirt with a fitted vest and a tie, and his dark jeans looked tailored with the way they hugged his legs and ass. Hux’s hair looked like it had been gelled back at one point but the party preparations had caused the gel to sag, Hux’s natural red locks swooping in front of his eyes until Hux repeatedly pushed it back. He had more scruff than beard but it was obvious Hux liked to take care of himself and look well-groomed at all times.

 

A slow song started playing and people on the dance floor coupled up. Although Hux shook his head, Phasma dragged him into position and they started to slow dance in place. Hux rolled his eyes and then smiled, though Kylo noticed that as soon as Hux looked away the smile slipped from his lips. Hux appeared worn and tired, run down, and all Kylo wanted to do was bundle Hux up in his arms and whisk him away.

 

Phasma’s warning chimed in his head, causing Kylo to hesitate. Phasma had set this up for him but had made no promises that they would receive a happy ending. It had been over a month since Kylo and Hux had spoken and even though Hux didn’t look very happy, that didn’t mean he was interested in giving Kylo a chance. Kylo doubted Phasma had told Hux he was coming just in case he bailed, and Kylo knew he could sneak out unseen. Phasma would likely hate him but Hux wouldn’t know any different, and Kylo could nurse his wounds alone.

 

But the thought that there was even a chance… a _hope_ that Hux felt the same way and wanted to explore that had to be enough. Kylo knew that if he walked away now he would regret it for the rest of his life. So Kylo tried to smooth out the wrinkles in his shirt and pants and forced one foot in front of the other, slowly pushing his way through the crowd.

 

Hux saw him before Kylo reached the pair and Kylo caught the widening of Hux’s eyes with recognition, confusion and trepidation. Kylo drew level with them then and made himself speak before he lost his nerve. “May I have this dance, Hux?”

 

Hux looked from Kylo to Phasma, eyes narrowing. “What did you do?”

 

Phasma shrugged and disentangled herself from Hux’s grasp. “Good luck you two,” she said and disappeared into the crowd.

 

Kylo and Hux were left staring at one another in a sea of strangers. Kylo’s hand wavered where it was still outstretched in offering but he wouldn’t drop it. Hux considered it for a long moment before finally accepting, pressing their palms together. Hux’s other hand rested on Kylo’s shoulder while Kylo placed a hand on the small of Hux’s back, pulling their bodies closer together before beginning an unhurried sway.

 

Hux was trembling and his body remained stiff and unyielding. “What did Phasma tell you?”

 

“Not much,” Kylo answered. “After you saw the play the first time she shoved a note into my hand saying someone missed me. I… Well I had hoped that somehow she meant you so I called you but the hotline said you were off the schedule. I didn’t know what else to do but Phasma came to another show and I approached her. I asked her if she had meant you and she said she had.” Kylo took a steadying breath. “I told her how I felt and she warned me you may not respond well but invited me here to talk to you at least once more.”

 

“How you felt…?”

 

“How I _feel_ ,” Kylo corrected himself. “Hux, I… I think I’m in love with you.” Hux blinked up at him but said nothing and Kylo felt dizzy with how quickly his heart was racing. He wasn’t sure what Hux’s reaction might be but Kylo hadn’t been expecting silence. “I’ve been thinking about you all the time. For the last few months all I wanted to do was learn more about you and spend time with you. I didn’t want to hang up on you when I did, and afterwards I was scared that my feelings would be too obvious and you’d turn me away so I didn’t call. At least, not until Phasma’s mysterious note gave me hope.”

 

“Kylo…” Hux weathered his bottom lip with his tongue. “Love and lust aren’t the same thing…”

 

“I know that!” Kylo insisted. “Trust me. You’re very good at your job but I kept thinking about curling up in bed with you or on the couch afterwards, and kissing you, and—and…” Kylo’s voice broke but he made himself say his next words. “When my uncle called my mom had had a heart attack and she died the following morning. All I wanted was to hide from the world in your arms. And it made me realize that life is too short, and to cherish what was important.”

 

“I’m not important,” Hux frowned. “I’m just a…” he glanced around and said under his breath, “a sex hotline worker.”

 

Kylo shook his head. “You can tell me that my feelings aren’t mutual and that you never want to see me again, but I won’t let you say that you aren’t important,” he stated, determined for Hux to understand what Kylo saw in him. “When I called in you were always warm and patient and understanding. You never mocked or judged me, and you never pushed me beyond my comfort level. I _know_ that you genuinely cared, if only because that’s the sort of guy you are. So yeah, you’re a hotline worker but you’re so much more than that to me.”

 

At last Hux’s body melted against Kylo and he whispered in Kylo’s ear, “I thought I was nothing to you beyond my work.”

 

“Definitely not.”

 

Hux wrapped both arms around Kylo’s neck who hugged Hux closer in return. Kylo heard a sniffle and then one solitary sob. “I think I love you too.”

 

Kylo blinked away the urge to cry himself and held Hux tightly, continuing to sway them even though the music was starting to switch into a faster, more upbeat song. “Is there somewhere we can go to talk?”

 

Hux wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and then led Kylo outside. The terrace was less crowded and noisy. It was chilly but they found a bench to share under two heating lamps and Kylo shyly wrapped an arm around Hux to share body heat. “I can’t believe this is real,” Hux admitted after a moment of shared silence. “I’ve spent weeks trying to tell myself to get over you and to stop hoping. I even took time off work but nothing helped and now…”

 

“I’m sorry for disappearing and hurting you,” Kylo said, rubbing Hux’s back in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

 

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Hux returned. “I can’t believe I was being so self-centred when you were dealing with something like that.”

 

They had their privacy on the terrace so Kylo and Hux ended up talking more. Kylo told Hux more about his mother, the funeral, and the loss and confusion he had experienced afterwards. He also told Hux about all of his second-guessing regarding how he should handle his feelings for Hux, and his eventual decision that he’d rather be rejected than not at least telling Hux how he felt. Hux in return told Kylo how he had been feeling ever since Kylo hung up on him, his own uncertainty and failed attempts at distracting himself.

 

They talked for so long that suddenly they heard cheers and the New Year’s countdown coming from inside the party room. Kylo steeled his courage. “Hux, I know we still have a lot to talk about but can I kiss you?”

 

Hux’s answer was to hold Kylo’s face between his palms and drag him into a kiss as the crowd around them shouted “ _Happy New Year!_ ”


	5. Epilogue

Kylo woke up on New Year’s Day slowly. He glanced over at his clock and saw it was a little after 11am, and then nuzzled his face back into the crook of Hux’s neck. After their New Year’s kiss, Hux had asked if they wanted to find somewhere more private to continue their talk. Kylo had offered his apartment since it was close and Hux agreed after Kylo assured him that yes, he had missed their calls and yes, Hux was even hotter than Kylo had envisioned but no, he didn’t want to rush things.

 

Kylo followed Hux into the elevator up to Phasma’s apartment where Hux used the spare key to let them in. Hux picked up his messenger bag and then wrote on the whiteboard on Phasma’s fridge: _You’re so lucky this worked out._ After that they headed downstairs to the underground parking garage. Rather than worry about finding a parking spot or drunk drivers, Kylo had walked the eight blocks, so it was an easy decision for them both to get into Hux’s car while Kylo gave directions.

 

Once they were at his apartment Kylo felt a bit nervous; he wasn’t a slob but he wasn’t sure his cleaning or decorating would be up to Hux’s standards. Hux made no comment though as he toed off his boots and looked around. Kylo hung both of their coats up in the closet and then took Hux to the kitchen, making hot chocolate for them to sip before they sat side by side on the living room couch.

 

They ended up talking for hours, asking all of the questions they had wanted to know the last few months and barely scratching the surface of the stories they wanted to share with one another. The fear of rejection was gone, only to be replaced by happy nerves and excitement, the adrenaline fuelling their bodies until after 3am. By then they were both yawning and Kylo asked shyly if Hux would feel comfortable sharing the bed.

 

Hux borrowed a pair of Kylo’s pyjama pants even though the legs were too long and the fabric covered his feet. Kylo brushed his teeth and then offered a spare toothbrush for Hux’s use. Then there was nothing to do but hesitantly crawl under the blankets and find each other in the middle, Kylo slowly moving to spoon Hux from behind in case Hux changed his mind and pushed him away. Hux didn’t, and was asleep mere minutes later. All Kylo needed was to feel the way Hux’s breathing evened out for him to relax and sleep as well.

 

Hux must’ve been exhausted since he was still asleep now. Kylo slipped out of bed carefully to avoid waking him up and then headed to the kitchen. He was determined to show Hux that he was interested in more than just sex and physical contact so Kylo began to make bacon and eggs with toast. Kylo wasn’t the best cook but eggs were easy enough and soon he had a tray laden with food which he carried back into the bedroom.

 

Kylo saw that Hux was awake when he re-entered the room, though barely. Hux considered Kylo and the tray of food through blurry vision, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. “This is a nice surprise,” Hux mumbled after a moment, voice sleep-roughened but warm.

 

“I’m glad,” Kylo smiled and Hux smiled too.

 

They ate and talked some more and eventually Kylo moved the breakfast tray onto the floor and out of the way. When Kylo turned back he saw the way Hux was looking him and it sent a bolt of heat straight down his spine. “Kylo, can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course,” Kylo rushed to say. He didn’t want to sound too desperate but he hoped they were both thinking the same thing.

 

Kylo was pretty sure they were thinking the same thing when Hux’s cheeks flushed pink. “I know there’s still a lot to talk about and figure out… I’d understand if you said no but I’d really like to fuck you.”

 

Hux’s eyes had darkened and Kylo’s brain short circuited. “Yes please.”

 

They both chuckled and then Hux reached forward to rest a hand on the back of Kylo’s neck. He used the position to reel Kylo into a kiss and Kylo submitted willingly, moaning when their lips locked together. The kiss started out light and tentative, just like their first kiss the night before. But before long Hux was deepening the kiss and brushing his tongue against Kylo’s bottom lip, seeking entrance which Kylo granted eagerly.

 

Before long Hux was straddling Kylo’s hips on the bed, running his hands along the length of Kylo’s bare torso while they kissed. Kylo was already hard in his pyjama pants and he knew Hux could tell since Hux started to grind his ass down against Kylo. There was no reason to feel self-conscious though because Hux began to rut his own erection against Kylo’s abdomen, both of them quickly sweating and out of breath.

 

“Where’s your lube?” Hux asked him after a few minutes. Kylo reached over to open the bedside table drawer and grab the lube and a condom. Hux took both from him and set it on the duvet before squirming out of his pants and underwear and taking Kylo’s off the next minute. “Do you mind if we save the toys and the dom/sub dynamic for another time?”

 

Hux sounded hesitant so Kylo dragged him down into a bruising kiss, arching his body up to press as much of their skin together as possible. “Not at all,” he promised Hux when their lips broke apart, both of them panting slightly. “It’s hot but it’s not why I want to be with you.”

 

“Thanks,” Hux kissed Kylo again, chastely this time, and then grabbed the lube.

 

Kylo watched as Hux coated two of his fingers and then knelt between Kylo’s spread legs. Hux’s clean hand massaged the muscles of Kylo’s leg and inner thigh while one lubed finger rubbed lightly at Kylo’s entrance. It had been a very long time since Kylo had done this so he knew it would take a while to stretch him out, but he trusted Hux to do it right and avoid hurting him.

 

When Hux slid his index finger in slowly Kylo felt the pressure before it faded. The second finger stung and caused Kylo to hiss through his teeth at the discomfort. Hux wrapped his lube-free hand around Kylo’s cock, saying nothing mocking when he found Kylo only half hard. “Close your eyes; deep breaths,” Hux ordered quietly.

 

Kylo followed the order, taking deep breaths in and back out. It helped being told something so familiar from all of the phone calls they had shared for half a year. Hux continued to pump his cock and after a few seconds Hux started to move his fingers inside Kylo again. Having his eyes closed made the sensations more powerful, allowing Kylo to focus directly on the feeling of Hux’s two hands working. It didn’t take long for his cock to swell again, and for Kylo to begin rutting down on Hux’s other fingers.

 

Hux was more careful when inserting his third lubed finger. Kylo appreciated it though he doubted it would’ve mattered. At that point he was so aroused that he was on the verge of just begging Hux for his cock, his own erection weeping precome across his stomach and Hux’s fingers. “I could never have pictured a sight as beautiful as you like this,” Hux informed him in hushed tones. He paired these words with a twist of both hands, one set of fingers squeezing his cock and the other massaging his insides.

 

Kylo’s breath caught in his throat and he whined. “ _Hux_ … I want you inside me.”

 

Hux kissed one of Kylo’s bent knees and withdrew both hands. Kylo watched as Hux rolled the condom on and then spread more lube across himself and Kylo’s entrance. Hux lined the head of his cock against Kylo’s hole and then paused, seeking his gaze. “You ready?”

 

Kylo nodded, knowing how aroused and desperate he looked. “I want you inside me so badly, Hux. I’m more than ready.”

 

He couldn’t help but whine when Hux thrust into him slowly. The noise was borne more from relief than the pressure though; Hux had stretched him enough that it didn’t hurt. Hux continued to sink into his body with shallow thrusts until he was fully seated, which was when he leaned forward over Kylo and kissed him like it was his dying breath. Kylo kissed him back and bucked up with the passion he felt in that kiss, which only broke when Kylo clenched around Hux and they both moaned.

 

Neither of them were going to last long, and without words they both knew it. It had been a long time since Kylo had slept with anyone else and Hux had admitted earlier that it was the same for him. Besides that, they were both so happy and eager to finally be able to share this in person that they were already on the edge of climax.

 

Hux kissed Kylo when he could and jerked him off when they were too desperate for air while Hux thrust into Kylo again and again. Kylo allowed himself to be vocal, moaning his appreciation each time Hux did something he liked – which was almost constantly. Hux’s thrusts were demanding and claiming, hard enough that Kylo felt the way his body bounced under Hux with the force. Kylo would be sore the next day and he loved the idea of knowing he was Hux’s, and that Hux was his.

 

“You feel so good, Kylo,” Hux told him, kissing and nipping at Kylo’s neck and chest. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

 

“Same.” It was hard for Kylo to talk with the air getting knocked out of his lungs with the force of Hux’s thrusts. “So—good.”

 

Hux grabbed one of Kylo’s thighs to pull it up higher, opening Kylo up wider. Hux shifted his weight and on his next thrust Kylo threw his head back against the pillow and cried out weakly. Hux smirked, pleased at having found Kylo’s prostate, and turned relentless. All Kylo could do was cling to Hux and moan as his body was consumed by heat that swelled and then crested, sending him tumbling over into oblivion as he sobbed Hux’s name and came across their stomachs.

 

The clenching of his hole was enough to drag Hux over the edge with him. Hux’s body tensed for an instant before his hips twitched forward minutely, spilling himself inside the condom. Kylo gave a tired groan of need, wishing instead to feel Hux’s seed filling him up. He reassured himself that this wasn’t a one-time thing, and Kylo wrapped his arms around Hux to catch him when Hux’s body collapsed against him, completely sated.

 

They stayed like that until Hux softened and slipped out of Kylo’s body. After that Hux forced himself to roll over and grab the tissue box from the bedside table, allowing both of them to clean up and for Hux to tie off the condom. He nudged everything to the corner of the bed when they were done and wrapped his body around Hux, spooning him again. Hux had been shivering slightly but relaxed at the return of Kylo’s body heat, which kept them warm as the sweat dried on their skin.

 

Kylo pressed slow, open-mouthed kisses along Hux’s neck and shoulder while his heart rate slowed. Then he murmured, “I’m pretty certain I love you.”

 

He smiled against Hux’s skin when he heard the response, “I’m pretty certain I do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you again to everyone who read this story and took the time to share your thoughts with me. I was never expecting this story to get as much feedback as it did but I'm so happy you enjoyed it because I'm quite happy with how it turned out ^.^ 
> 
> I'm a little sad to see it ending, but I **will** be posting more Kylux stuff in future. I'm working on another story now that's giving me some trouble, but all of your wonderful comments have given me newfound motivation so thank you for that  <3 Feel free to follow me on Tumblr or subscribe to me here to keep track of when I post more.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/)


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